Autism Tips

Tips to manage difficult behaviour in Autism

Tips for managing difficult behaviour in Autism

Coping with a child with autism can be very difficult. On this page you will find tips to handle some of the difficult behaviours.

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Behaviour has a function and that there could be a number of reasons for it. your child may have difficulty in processing information; may be over-sensitive or under-sensitive to something; there may have been a change in routine; the child may be feeling unwell, tired or hungry. If you do not understand this the child may become anxious, angery or frustrated when unable to communicate with you. This may lead to an outburst of difficult behaviour. It is important to bear in mind that your child’s difficult behaviour is not your fault and that there is a reason for the behaviour which needs to be identified.

mother love

It is really important to try and keep as calm as possible so that your child is unable to ‘feed’ off your reaction. It is also important to be consistent in your approach and for the other adults around to use the same consistent approach, so that your child does not get mixed messages and can be really clear about what is expected.

Children with an Autism are often strong visual learners and can have difficulties with short-term memory. It can be very effective to use visual supports such as pictures, to help your child really understand the information.

Using rewards and motivators can help to persuade your child finish a task that they do not want to do, or to encourage a particular behaviour. Even if the behaviour or task is very short, eg one minute, if it is followed by lots of praise and a reward, the child learns what behaviour is acceptable. But if the undesirable behaviour is met with a lack of attention and redirection, it is likely to stop.


Possible reasons:

  • enjoys the reaction from an adult or another child around them
  • is looking for attention/interaction
  • has difficulty swallowing and/or may be producing too much saliva
  • likes to play with the saliva and enjoys the way it feels
  • uses the behaviour to avoid doing something.

Strategies for management:

  • avoid making eye contact with your child
  • play this behaviour down as much as possible
  • limit verbal communication
  • wipe away the saliva as soon as it happens
  • do not give your child attention
  • redirect them to a more appropriate activity
  • provide alternative sensory activites, eg water play, finger painting, etc
  • give your child lots of positive attention for doing a more appropriate activity
  • give them a sweet or something to suck to keep their mouth busy
  • make sure they understand what is expected and redirect them to a visual timetable.

Pinching, kicking, slapping

Possible reasons:

  • frustration at not being able to communicate
  • difficulty waiting for something, because of difficulty with concept of time and abstract thinking
  • an unfamiliar person
  • a change in routine
  • over-sensitivity to noise, crowds, smells, touch, sight
  • under-sensitivity – the child may be seeking out sensory input from pinching or slapping
  • feeling unwell, tired, hungry, thirsty, uncomfortable
  • not wanting to do something.


Strategies for management:

  • use visual supports to help with communication and show your child the sequence of events and routine for the day
  • prepare for meeting unfamiliar people by showing photographs of them and introducing them in small stages. Tell your child when they will see them, using visual support
  • prepare for any changes in routine
  • use ear plugs to block out noise and sunglasses to reduce light, and reduce strong smells, replacing them with smells that your child prefers
  • create opportunities for sensory stimulation, eg . pinching play-dough, clapping hands, singing a clapping song/rhyme, kicking a football or punch bag
  • reward your child for doing something they don’t want to do, straight after the desirable behaviour
  • say in a calm, monotone voice, without showing emotion: “(Child’s name) hands down/feet down. No pinching, slapping, kicking” and then redirect them.

Smearing self with fecal matter

Possible reasons:

  • feeling unwell or in pain
  • reluctant to wipe because toilet paper may be too harsh
  • seeking out sensation from texture, smell or movement of arms during smearing action
  • attention seeking/wanting a reaction
  • not knowing where faeces needs to go
  • fear of toilets.


Strategies for management:

  • provide an alternative with the same texture, eg papier-mâché, gelibaf, gloop (cornflour and water), finger painting, play-dough, etc
  • make a structured timetable of the day, showing times when your child can do appropriate smearing activities
  • take your child to the GP to make sure that there are no physical reasons involved, like being in pain
  • if your child does not understand the wiping process, teach them ‘hand over hand’
  • if the toilet paper is too harsh for your child’s sensitive skin, wet wipes could be a gentler alternative
  • avoid asking your child to clear up after themselves, as they may interpret this as being a reward
  • avoid paying too much attention or showing too much reaction
  • do not tell them off, as this can be seen as reinforcement of the behaviour
  • use minimal interaction and alternative cleaning-up methods, like baby wipes or a tepid shower
  • set up a toileting routine

Hair pulling

Possible reasons:

  • seeking out a reaction from an adult
  • looking for attention
  • having difficulty meeting new and unfamiliar people
  • seeking out or avoiding a sensory input, eg the smell of the person or the noises they make.


Strategies for management:

  • tie long hair back
  • avoid giving your child a reaction
  • do not talk to them
  • do not make eye contact
  • distract them by, eg, tickling them or giving positive reinforcement
  • redirect them to a more appropriate activity
  • prepare your child when introducing them to unfamiliar people
  • give opportunities to satisfy the pulling sensation they may enjoy, eg ‘row your boat’ game, tug of war, climbing up a rope, etc.


Possible reasons:

  • looking for attention
  • seeking out sensory input to the mouth
  • frustration at not being able to communicate something that is causing distress and to get it to stop, or struggling to get needs met
  • reacting to something going on in the environment, eg too much noise
  • pain in the mouth or teeth.


Strategies for management:

  • rule out any medical or dental reasons for the biting
  • improve communication: “(Child’s name), no biting”
  • use visual supports – use a ‘no biting’ symbol and a picture symbol showing what to do instead of biting
  • increase structured activities
  • reduce noise levels or other sensory stimuli that your child could find upsetting
  • provide alternative things to bite, eg chewy tubes (see our ‘Biting’ information sheet)
  • look at anger/emotions management and create opportunities for your child to relax
  • redirect them to a more appropriate activity
  • reward appropriate behaviour, eg “(Child’s name), that’s good sharing with your sister”, and give a reward as soon as you see appropriate behaviour, to encourage it to continue.


Eating unwanted things

Possible reasons:

  • not understanding which items are edible and inedible
  • seeking out sensory input – the texture or the taste of the item
  • relieving anxiety or stress
  • seeking attention
  • getting out of doing something.


Strategies for management:

  • replace the inappropriate item with an appropriate alternative of a similar texture, eg a crunchy carrot stick if your child chews on things like stones or sticks
  • provide other forms of stimulation for the mouth, eg chewy tubes, popcorn, chewing gum, etc
  • set up a sorting activity for your child to sort edible and inedible items
  • consider any vitamin or mineral deficiencies
  • reward your child for putting edible items in their mouth
  • use pictures to encourage your child to put appropriate items in their mouth and reward them
  • increase the amount of structured activities your child does and distract and divert their attention.

Difficult behaviour can often be defused by physical activity such as running around the house in a chasing game, that releases energy or pent-up anger or anxiety.